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Creation
by
Ciara Randles
NARRATOR (spiritual music under). Eternity is above time, a concept that baffles our finite comprehension. It’s difficult for us to imagine no beginnings and no endings, timeless moments, a forever without frontiers. This is because we live on earth, on a planet where forever is an ideal and not a reality. We have a vague inkling, that eternity exists somewhere in a place called paradise manned by a guy called God. But if God made us then who made God? And more importantly why did he make us? These questions have plagued the greatest of minds. Some have been close to understanding the full picture. The truth however is more convoluted than you or I could even begin to imagine.
(George, Orville and Daniel make their grand entrance into paradise. The walls and furniture are white, the men are dressed in white robes. Three angels serve them champagne before bursting into song: "Praise the Lord most holy and supreme. Praise Him, praise Him." (x 3) One angel sits down and plays guitar while the other two sing "Hallelujah, Hallelujah.")
ORVILLE. Looks like we’re hot stuff in Paradise, eh boys? Do you think one of the angels would object if I asked her to dance with me?"
DANIEL. We’ll have plenty of time for dancing later on. Try to appreciate their efforts to welcome us.
ORVILLE. Paradise is very bright. Can I ask for a pair of sunglasses?
GEORGE. Shhh. Your eyes will adjust once you’re accustomed to the new vibration.
GABRIEL (enters, extends his wings to their full capacity). I am at your service gentlemen to help you settle into paradise. Your every wish is my command.
ORVILLE. Great. Can I have chocolate chip cookies for breakfast every morning and strawberry cheesecake every night with lashings of fresh cream and a sprinkling of low fat jelly.
GABRIEL. Anything master.
ORVILLE (to George and Daniel). This is like so wow.
The angels leave the room leaving the three men to sit down to the table.
GEORGE (speaks in a low voice). Right gentlemen let’s begin.
ORVILLE. Why are we whispering?
GEORGE looks furtively around him.
GEORGE. You do realise who we are don’t you Orville?
ORVILLE. Sure. You’re God the Father, I’m God the Son, and this dude here, sorry what’s your name?
DANIEL. Daniel.
ORVILLE. And this here Daniel, nice name by the way, is God the Holy Spirit.
GEORGE. Why are we here?
DANIEL. We are the rulers of paradise sent here because we are all seeing and all knowing. Each of us was promoted to the job from our own planets for our superiority of knowledge and the quality of our vibration.
ORVILLE. Not really.
DANIEL. What do you mean?
ORVILLE. I came here because I won the lottery for the position. Most people were afraid that their bodies would disintegrate from travelling faster than the speed of light. But not me. So here I am God the Son.
NARRATOR. And so the days passed into weeks and the weeks into months.
GEORGE. Anyone for chess?
ORVILLE. Great. Can we ask the angels for some nibblies, a few chocolate peanuts and a Pina Colada for me.
DANIEL. Gabriel! (Gabriel enters.)
DANIEL. Some nibblies old boy, and a few cocktails.
(Gabriel rushes out and comes back with a tray.)GEORGE. Your move Orville.
ORVILLE. I’m tired of this game. We’ve been playing chess since we arrived and so far you’ve won most of the games.
GEORGE. Ah but my dear Orville isn’t the pleasure in the challenge? The fun isn’t in the winning but in the possibility of winning.
ORVILLE. That’s easy for you to say when you’re always winning.
GEORGE. In time and we have plenty of it, you’ll improve and we’ll become more equally matched.
DANIEL (at the table reading a book). You could always play something else.
ORVILLE. We could play Scrabble or Backgammon.
GEORGE. No way.
DANIEL. Now, now gentlemen it won’t do us any good if you get upset over a chess game. We need to set a good example to the angels. If they sense any dissension we could have a mutiny on our hands.
(The angels enter and sing.)
ANGELS. Praise the Lord most holy and supreme. Praise him, praise him. (X3) Hallelujah, Hallelujah. (Angels exit.)
ORVILLE. Can’t we stop these creatures from singing every few minutes. Don’t they know any other songs? We’ve been here for three months and it’s the same old ding dong."
GEORGE. Well we don’t want to appear ungrateful do we? After all they do all our laundry, cooking and cleaning. The least we can do is listen to them.
ORVILLE. But the poor sods think we like the singing. Honestly if they sing that song once more I’ll punch one of ‘em.
DANIEL. You can’t punch angels in paradise Orville. We’re supposed to be God, remember? All seeing and all knowing.
ORVILLE. Well I’m sick to my back teeth of this crap. Where’s the fun? I don’t think I’ll be able to stick this job for all eternity.
GEORGE (gets up and grabs both of Orville’s hands). I love you Orville.
ORVILLE. And I, er, love you guys too. You’re both really cool and know more than I ever will but I need more.
DANIEL (gesticulating wildly around the room). More? More than this? Why you ungrateful selfish son.
GEORGE. Now now gentlemen we have a nice little set up here. So you’re bored. Who isn’t from time to time. Boredom doesn’t do anyone any harm.
ORVILLE. But not for eternity George. I can’t stay here for eternity when I resent the angels. Although we could organise a cull.
GEORGE. You mean kill them?
ORVILLE. Well not all of them. We could keep some to manage the house and gardens. Definitely get rid of the singers. Then I’ll stay.
DANIEL (looking very pious). It’s a sin to kill Orville.
ORVILLE. And what about me, dying of terminal boredom, eh.
GEORGE. Hush gentlemen. I have an idea. We could make a planet and send some of the angels to work there. It would be our special project, one that would keep us busy for all eternity.
ORVILLE. We could get rid of the angels. George you are a genius.
DANIEL (leaves the room and comes back in with paper, pencils and markers). Okay so we are going to make a planet. Name please.
ORVILLE. Angelville?
DANIEL. Nah.
ORVILLE. I have an idea. Let’s not make it as nice as here, otherwise the angels will be too happy and won’t obey us as much. Make this planet have some sadness and tears. We could call it earth which as we know has the word tear in it only those dim bats won’t know.
GEORGE. Okay so what shape?
DANIEL. It has to be round or other wise the creatures will fall off, so let me draw a circle.
GEORGE. Draw another circle for the sun.
GEORGE. Orville and Daniel. Let there be light.
ORVILLE. Let me draw some animals, two of each, some with fur, others with scales, some with two legs, others with four legs, six legs. We could call them all sorts. Some with small noses, others with long noses. I’m beginning to like this.
DANIEL. Let me take charge of the oceans and the land. I’ll draw some purple mountains and sinuous rivers. I will also draw the most beautiful flowers and whoever sees them will be reminded of how utterly perfect we are.
ANGELS (enter and sing their usual song). Praise the Lord most holy and supreme. Praise him. Praise him. (X 3) Hallelujah, Hallelujah. (Orville looks at them in disgust. They exit.)
ORVILLE. We could put some people there.
DANIEL. Good idea and one guardian angel for every human.
ORVILLE. Great the minute one is born we dispatch an angel. Singers first. That’s my job. Okay. I’m thinking white, black, yellow, red and brown people, ten of each.
DANIEL. I’m thinking tall, small, thin, fat, straight hair, curly hair, different abilities.
ORVILLE. This is so exciting, like making our own reality TV show. Will they know we’re up here?
DANIEL. They’ll have an idea they’re not alone, that there is more to their life than the planet. They won’t get the full picture until they die.
ORVILLE. Don’t tell me they’ll be coming up here with us. Great, we get rid of the angels and gain humans. Sorry boys, no can do.
GEORGE. Alright I have an idea. The minute they die they come up here to say a few words and then we immediately dispatch them into new bodies.
ORVILLE. So paradise would become a recycling reincarnation planet. Mmmmm I like it. I like it. Maybe Gabriel could become the karmic controller. He’s love that 'cos I have a sneaky suspicion he has a very sadistic streak.
DANIEL. Now, now Orville. Gabriel has been nothing but helpful since we arrived.
ORVILLE. I’ve seen him kick some poor angles in the laundry room when they forget to wash our towels. I’ll tell you they’re afraid of him so he’s the man for the job.
GEORGE. Okay gentlemen. We now need to rest. (The men put their heads on the table and sleep.)
NARRATOR (while spiritual music plays). On the seventh day God rested. But while he rested the energy link between earth and paradise was severed. From now on the only thing that God could do from paradise was watch what happened to his creation. He could no longer intervene.
(George, Orville and Daniel wake up. There is a globe on the table.)
GEORGE. Hey boys we did a good job. It’s beautiful when the sun shines.
ORVILLE. Yeah but look up north, the poor bastards are freezing. They’re huddling in caves close together for warmth. Mmmm do you see that guy there, the way he’s looking at that woman.
DANIEL. That’s natural Orville. It’s called sexual attraction, programmed into them to ensure the survival of the species.
ORVILLE. I know but that’s not her man. That’s her man’s brother.
DANIEL. Well we have no way of knowing what these people will do. I hope she stays with her first man ‘cos he’s the father of her child.
GEORGE. Look her man has found out about the brother.
ORVILLE. Clever dude, he’s denying it.
DANIEL. Well he doesn’t believe him. Oh no he’s picking up a club and, oh my word, he’s killing him.
ORVILLE. Can’t we stop him?
DANIEL. No can do mate. The humans are programmed with free will which means they’ll behave whatever way they want.
ORVILLE. New soul arriving Gabriel. Dispatch him straight away.
GEORGE. Look they’re beginning to settle into communities. They’re building houses. They’re clever buggers after all.
ORVILLE. Well they’ve certainly figured out how to make clothes for themselves. Good job we gave them so many animals.
DANIEL. They’re reproducing at an enormous rate. There are 650, 000 alone in this continent here and there are over a million of those yellow people.
GEORGE. Some humans are more powerful than others. They think they’re like us. Look at what’s happening now. Some are taking upon themselves to become kings and they’re building up armies to protect themselves.
ORVILLE. That’s not fair. Look at all those slaves building pyramids for that Pharoah guy. What’s that he’s saying.
DANIEL. He’s telling them he’s of divine origin so they will continue to obey him.
GEORGE. He’s a sadist. Look he’s sacrificing those poor children to the sun god.
ORVILLE. But the sun isn’t God. We are.
DANIEL. Yes but they don’t know that.
ORVILLE. Look what’s happening in that Northern landmass. There’re druids who think they’re communicating with us. Boy these duds are clever. They’ve learnt to tap into the earth energy.
DANIEL. And they’ve cottoned on to the fact that at the solstices they can contact their own divinity but it doesn’t last. Nothing does on Earth.
ORVILLE. You don’t think these guys will become as clever as us.
DANIEL. Not a chance. They have thousands of years to go.
ORVILLE. I like looking at the families, at home at night, having their dinner. It looks so cozy. Oh no go away you horrible soldiers. What are they doing?
DANIEL. They’re dragging away the father of the family cos he’s been accused of treason.
ORVILLE. That’s not fair. He was only stealing bread to feed his family. It’s not right.
DANIEL. I know but once his soul comes up here I’ll make sure he gets a better life next time around. GABRIEL!
GABRIEL. Yes master.
DANIEL. Can you make sure the next soul gets a good life next time round. Send him somewhere warmer. Poor sod was always complaining about the weather. Make him a bit simple so he’ll always feel happy.
GEORGE. If he was given a choice he wouldn’t go back. It’s hard work on that planet. So much to learn, so much to do.
DANIEL. Yes but I hope they eventually get the picture.
ORVILLE. What picture?
DANIEL. Well that some day they could be just like us, all seeing and all knowing.
ORVILLE. We don’t want that sort of competition now do we? We’d have an invasion. And besides there is no more room here.
DANIEL. Humans have a long way to go I’m afraid. Look at that poor leper trying to beg for mercy.
GEORGE. Poor guy is desperate. Either he dies of this disease or he’ll be killed by those soldiers.
DANIEL. The soldiers hate his imperfections. They will kill him so they don’t have to look at him.
ORVILLE. That’s it. He’s up here. We’ll ask Gabriel later what becomes of him. On a lighter note look at that little baby being born. See how happy his mother and father look.
DANIEL. That’s their own taste of paradise. That’s why when they dream they dream of where we are. They know deep down it exists only they don’t know how to get there.
GEORGE. Some people are very good. They help others, they don’t kill, they don’t steal. So I’m quite happy really with our creation. What do you think?
DANIEL. Don’t speak too soon. Look at those armies invading Europe, killing innocent women and children. No I must say. I’m not happy, not happy at all.
ORVILLE. Yeah well you have to admit it’s entertaining. We never know what’s going to happen. I love the suspense. Watch what’s happening between that soldier and that woman.
DANIEL. She’s gorgeous.
ORVILLE. The soldier thinks so too. Is he going to kill her or take her away with him. He’s thinking she could be his wife.
DANIEL. Yes but she’d never love him. He has already killed her mother and father.
GEORGE. Would you want to be with a monster who is capable of that.
ORVILLE. Shhhh. I want to hear them talk.
DANIEL. She’s pleading for her life.
ORVILLE. Oh please don’t kill her. Go on take her and make her your wife.
DANIEL. Lovely jubley. He’s putting her behind him on the horse. She’ll bear him six sons one who will in turn kill him.
ANGELS (enter and start singing). Praise the lord most holy and supreme, praise him, praise him. (X 3) Hallelujah, Hallelujah.
ORVILLE. I thought all singers were dispatched to earth.
DANIEL. They have this urge to praise us all the time. It’s impossible to stop. I’ll get Gabriel to dispatch them with the next batch of humans today.
ORVILLE. Do you know what I’ve been thinking? Look how clever humans are becoming. Look at how they have learnt to follow the direction of the stars. Look at how they are building New Grange and the ingenuous way they know how the light shines into the chambers on a certain day only once a year.
DANIEL. Only some are clever. The rest are no better than animals. All they think of is food and sex.
ORVILLE. What else is there?
DANIEL. Well the world of ideas and lofty thoughts.
ORVILLE . But there’s no fun in that. Look at those women making themselves beautiful paining their faces with berries. Are they thinking lofty thoughts. I don’t think so. They want to attract a man. Besides you were the one responsible for programming them to reproduce the species. It doesn’t leave room for an awful lot of thought.
DANIEL. I also programmed them with free will which is why they can sometimes be so erratic and unpredictable.
ORVILLE. I like unpredictable, breaks the monotony.
DANIEL. Oh that poor man. His wife is dying and he’s hysterical.
ORVILLE. I wish they knew they could be recycled.
GEORGE. Some will in time.
ANGELS (enter
). Praise the Lord most Holy and Supreme. Praise him, praise him. Hallelujah, Hallelujah.ORVILLE. This takes the biscuit. GABRIEL! (Gabriel appears.)
ORVILLE. I thought I told you all singers were to be dispatched to earth.
GABRIEL. These guys escaped. The angels are not happy on earth my lord.
ORVILLE. Not happy. What do they want?
GABRIEL. It’s hard work looking after humans. Their only time out is when the humans sleep.
ORVILLE. Oh boo hoo. They’re never happy. It’s all me me me me me.
GEORGE. Don’t be unkind Orville. Gabriel and his friends are doing their best. Earth is not the easiest of planets to manage.
ORVILLE. Looks like they’re not doing a good enough job. There’s war, famine, unhappiness, greed. I bet the angels are doing nothing, nothing at all. Probably playing chess like us, ignoring the mess around them.
DANIEL. Well there is nothing more we can do.
GEORGE. Well actually there is.
DANIEL and ORVILLE. What?
GEORGE. The one that that we as God can do is we can only intervene if one of us goes down there.
ORVILLE. You mean as a human.
GEORGE. Yes.
ORVILLE. I’ll go.
GEORGE and Daniel. Are you sure?
ORVILLE. Never been more certain in all my life. Can I have a girl friend. Oh please say I can have a girl friend.
GEORGE. We’ll see.
ORVILLE. That means no.
GEORGE. No it means there will be some very important things for you to do. It’s up to you to clear up the mess we made. Tell the humans about the kingdom of God and how they can get there.
ORVILLE. How do they get there?
GEORGE. Well they all get there eventually but tell them to be good to each other and not to steal. Things like that.
DANIEL. Do you think the people will listen?
GEORGE. If Orville can persuade them I think they will. Okay Orville you will be prepared for dispatch later on today.
ORVILLE. I’ll miss you guys but I can’t miss out on this adventure. I want a really good looking girlfriend. I might even have a wife and children. I am so excited. This is so wow.
DANIEL. We’ll miss you Orville but don’t forget you’re the son of God. You are special, very special.
ORVILLE. Daniel please send me somewhere warm and give me a nice mother, one that loves cooking.
DANIEL. Sure.
GEORGE and DANIEL. Goodbye Orville. Bon Voyage.
ORVILLE. See you around guys (exits).
GEORGE. At last he’s gone. Phew. Peace.
DANIEL. The angels can sing to their hearts content. There is no one to hurt their feelings now.
GEORGE (takes out a packet of cigarettes). Smoke Daniel?
DANIEL. Sure. No Orville to nag us about passive smoking.
GEORGE. This is the life. Look Daniel he’s born today.
DANIEL. He’s so cute - got a nose just like Orville.
GEORGE. Honestly where have the years gone. He’s all grown up. Handsome bugger isn’t he.
DANIEL. Would you listen to him telling those people he’s the son of God.
GEORGE. He should have kept his bloody mouth shut.
DANIEL. Some of the people are listening to him. He’s telling them that the meek will inherit the earth.
GEORGE. We never told him to preach did we?
DANIEL. No but Orville is blinded by fame, strutting around telling everyone he’s the son of God. Do you see that woman Mary Magdalene. She’s fallen in love with him and thinks he’s only playing hard to get.
GEORGE. The damnable thing is we can’t contact him. Ah well he can’t be doing any harm.
DANIEL. I knew he’d make enemies. Look. The soldiers are coming to take him before a fat guy called Pontius Pilate.
GEORGE. Well Orville doesn’t seem worried does he.
DANIEL. That’s because he thinks we can intervene if something bad happens. I told him we could which wasn’t exactly true.
GEORGE. This is awful Daniel. They’re about to execute Orville.
DANIEL. Which means?
GEORGE. Which means he’ll be back here by tea time.
DANIEL. Gabriel! (Gabriel enters.) Gabriel, man by the name of Jesus arriving tonight. Can he be dispatched straight away.
GABRIEL. No problem. Anywhere in particular?
DANIEL. No. You choose.
GABRIEL. It will be my pleasure.
THE END
© 2004 by Nell Sullivan