69.    [Did you meet or see any other beings?] Yes, precisely this light, which was living. [At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?] The moment when the Light spoke to me. [Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect...)?] I seemed to have a spherical view 360º vertically as well as horizontally.  97a/3891

71.    [Did you experience a review of past events in your life?] I saw images that summarized my life to date, baby, young boy, older boy, etc.  2b/2629

126.    I remember standing (or whatever) in a bright white sort of fog and there was a being (or energy force) on my left. I felt very close to this being (wanting to be with it as one would a spouse, etc.)  2d/Oct. 16, 2002

127.    I lifted out of my body (chest!), turned and drifted up into the corner of my bedroom. As I looked back I could see both my wife and myself lying in bed. ... My eyes looked intensely at my chest to see if I could see it move with respirations. I could not see my chest move so I panicked and seemed to dive back towards my chest. I felt myself turn and start to fall back inside my body (chest). This is when I heard a noise, which surprised me, but a noise I can describe. The sound was that of two tuning forks of the same frequency being brought together. It was a high-pitched resonating sound. I immediately sat up and got out of bed. I had not been dreaming.  3d/Jan. 23, 2002

128.    Suddenly I found myself in a boat, floating down a river in a jungle. In the background I could hear the most magnificent music I had ever heard. It was a jungle drum beat of incredible dimensions. I became very elated with its incessant melodic sounding rhythm.  4d/Feb. 5, 2002

129.     The first thing I noticed was my vision--the ability of my physical vision. From the mountain top I was standing on, the valley seemed to be MANY miles away, at least ten or so, maybe more.  But I could see clearly every detail of both sides of the valley as I could the other. If one of the people were to have had a note in their hand, or two people had a note for instance, I would have been able to read them on both sides of the valley at one time.  9d/Feb. 25, 2002

130.    I decided to try to talk to this voice. I asked her who she was, if she was god. She told me she couldn't answer me, but that I would learn on my own. ... She told me I was special. I had a purpose, a reason to be here. I was beautiful and strong. Life was beautiful, everything was beautiful. Everything had a reason and a purpose. Everything was happening for a reason, from the moment I was born. Everything down to the people I had met and places I had been.  10d/March 26, 2002

131.    I believed that I was going to be there forever. I thought "I'm dead, this is where I will be now." But I felt myself pulled back. No one was more surprised at this than my guide. I believe that she didn't know that I was going back.  11d/April 4, 2002

132.    On the way back I saw a caterpillar, with a very charming face saying, "Play my music to regain your health," smiled, and I neared my body.  15d/May 30, 2002

133.    I was in a new body. New place. A new life. I had hard time with all of it. I was starting over.  17d/June 16, 2002

134.    He took me up on a roof and showed me many people out there. I told him I felt great fear in the people. He said they had come from the September 11th incident and they wouldn't come indoors yet.  23d/Sept. 8, 2002

135.    I was allowed to ask something and I remember very well. I asked how the universe was composed and it was explained to me in all details. I remember that it was extremely beautiful and extremely simple and said to myself this information I must remember when I am sent back. ... I lost control over the information I got earlier (it felt as if my head was crashed).  27d/Nov. 12, 2002

136.    Then a PEACE came over me. I felt like I was totally loved, totally happy. I had no fears or worries or pains. It was wonderful. I started hearing music. Beautiful music and, I started seeing a mirage of colors. Suddenly I heard a faint voice. It felt like apparently I had been "moving" because I started to feel like I was coming down, like a helium balloon being pulled. I heard Dave and then Sheila, they were saying: “COME BACK” “COME BACK”!!!!" I was hearing this very quietly at first and than as I 'sank', it got louder and louder. I then felt my body and knew that Dave was screaming in one ear and Shelia in the other. They were inches from my head. I felt groggy and light and I said, "I want to go back,” and Sheila said, "You aren't going anywhere but the hospital."  28d/Nov. 19, 2002

137.    Then I am seeing a woman (she is beautiful with long brown hair) at the end of my hospital bed, and I can see myself lying in the bed. I am confused. I look at her and I am speaking to her, and I don't know how because I can see myself in the hospital bed with tubes down my throat, hooked to machines. I look at myself in the hospital bed, then look back towards her and she is gone. Then I wake up.  29d/Dec. 19, 2002

138.    It sounds perhaps hypocritical, but I feel I am above all religions. I see religions as an attempt to create heaven or a connection with above, the creator and the use of rites to make it easier to achieve that connection. Every religion and science is a restriction of the free mind. It is so simple: open up and the direct connection is there. Maybe it is not so simple and one has to die first. Well that's worth it! Even today I can re-enter that tunnel at will and spend some time 'over there'. My wife notices my leaving my body as a uncontrolled shock, somewhat like in a seizure. I can acquire any knowledge and wisdom regarding humanity, society, science as well as individual people and use that in my own life. This knowledge may have to do with things that are about to happen, but I cannot change fate. I can only help people at that moment and after it happened because I am prepared and know the meaning of it. There usually is some 'key' to the use of that knowledge. It is understood that things are being developed and will come thru at the proper time via somebody's mind (invention, inspiration).  34d/Feb. 16, 2003

139.    3. The "Void" Experiences. I fell into an altered state and found myself traveling into a dark Void. Within this Void, there was only me and I was God. There was no "other." The darkness surrounding me was absolute, and yet it was not empty. The Void seemed pregnant with probability as if every event that ever was or ever will be was contained within it. I found the experience to be completely acceptable while I was in the Void. I had no emotion or fear. Only being and knowing.  38d/April 23, 2003

140.    The next thing I saw was my life it passed by as if I was watching a movie. I kept getting younger and younger.  43d/May 27, 2003

141.    I was also not alone, there was a being behind me coaching me as what to say to my brother. ... I turned to the being and he pointed for me to look, as I did I saw the ambulance driving away. ... I felt a pull, a strong pull from beyond where I was, I didn’t want to go. The being pointed and no words but I could hear it speak, “go now, you are not done."  47d/June 2, 2003

142.    Looking down on the tense events below, I realized how unimportant one life is in the grand scheme of things. I almost felt sorry for the frantic people working on me - they didn't understand the insignificance of just one life. I could see that the baby was out and she was healthy. That was all that mattered to me. At that point, I felt a great sadness come over me as I thought of my sweet little two-year-old son at home. I wanted so much to raise my children and be a part of their lives. I had already learned so much about parenting, and I thought that nobody could do as good a job as I could with my children.  48d/June 2, 2003

143.    At that time I knew everything.  49d/June 2, 2003

144.    Next I felt I was being pulled somewhere, I resisted, did not want to go "back". ... Despite my resistance I felt/heard a metallic zzzooom type of noise/sense. After this I felt hard cold tiles beneath me and heard normal voices.  52d/Aug. 11, 2003

145.    I felt as if all the answers to all the questions I had ever had wanted answered, were answered simultaneously. It wasn't like I knew any one specific answer, more like I just knew everything there was to know, ever. I also had the feeling that as I received this knowledge from the beings of light, I in turn gave to them all the unique experiences that I had accumulated from my time alive on earth. They gave me what they had, and I gave them what I had to contribute. It was very pleasing to do this exchange.  59d/Nov. 11, 2003

146.    I felt a presence of my former guide meeting another entity in front of the beings of lights choir stand. They seemed to be having a disagreement about something; I had hoped that it was not about my being here. I couldn't tell exactly what the problem was but I sensed there was a very serious one. I had the sense that I was being brought back to life back on the earthly plane, and that this entity talking to my guide was not happy about this turn of events. I was beginning to get a bad feeling about the whole scene taking place in front of me. I was indeed being brought back to life on the earthly plane, and I was to leave this wonderful place. I felt that this entity was not happy at all with the doctors who were saving my life, and neither was I. I wanted to stay, but I knew I would be going back. And back I went. The next thing I am aware of is the beeping of my heart monitor.  59d/Nov. 11, 2003

147.    But I knew I had to go and stay with Dad, I still had no idea how I could help him. When I settled in at the hospital I couldn't look him in the eyes. I heard him asking for help but I couldn't help, and it broke my heart to see him suffer. He wanted to go, he was ready to go - but he couldn't, and I couldn't go for him. I've never felt a pain like that - I couldn't look at him. I felt so self-conscious, the atmosphere in the room was so thick and oddly calm - peaceful almost - and waiting. As I sat reading in a chair at the foot of his bed, his breathing became heavy and sporadic, he was hyperventilating. I turned my head and looked him in the eyes (actually the third eye, where you can see both eyes at the same time) and said "I'll breathe for you Dad." I speeded my breathing up to his rate and slowly slowed it back down - he was with me and I was, literally, breathing for him. We were in perfect sync. As he calmed down he motioned, with his eyes, for me to close my eyes. I just knew that was what he wanted. I said "you want me to close my eyes?" he motioned yes. I turned my head back and rested it against the back of the chair and closed my eyes. I felt, rather than saw my father in my consciousness. That is the only way to explain it. There was a figure, of sorts… like a vague outline, but I felt my father. I knew he wanted me to take him or help him. I said, verbally, "I can't go all the way, but I'll go as far as I can." We then 'moved' through what was like a tunnel, the walls were like a bluish-gray smoke gently moving clockwise. I was behind my father, following him. We came to an area that I can only describe as a huge wall of purple and black swirling plasma. It rose up in front of us. We stood on a dark floor, the tunnel was behind us and we were blocked by this huge wall. The purple was the predominant color and the black was more like the outline of the purple swirls. We walked along the wall but found no way through, over, under or around it. The feelings of this wall were confusion and chaos, it was swirling at a steady but chaotic pace and was quite intimidating but not frightening. More frustrating.

My father had only gotten this far - he couldn't get past this wall. That's what he wanted me to help him with. I said "no wonder you can't go - this is a mess!" Then I felt this sudden conscious awareness of what was happening and fear flooded me - a fear so shocking that I "flew" my eyes open and sat straight up in my chair! I looked over at my father and his eyes flew open, he looked at me as if I had hurt him more deeply than was humanly possible. I felt so ashamed, shocked and sorry, deeply - so very deeply sorry.

His breathing became faster and agitated. I said "it wasn't long enough, I opened my eyes too soon. I'm sorry..." he softened and I took control of the breathing again. (The whole time the breathing was the predominant sound; it was like a gauge or a line and I used it but I'm not sure how.) He, again, motioned for me to close my eyes and we started over again. This time when we reached the purple/black wall there were specks of orange dotted through it. My father was looking for his mother. He was walking up and down the wall like a lost child calling "Mama, Mama." I started looking for her too; it made sense for her to come and help him - more sense than me doing it. I called "Granmommy Florence" (I was quite young when she died and only remember her one time; I tried to feel her but I couldn't grasp it.) "Granmommy Florence" it seemed that we called and looked for a long time. I started getting angry. I didn't want my father stuck here and his body was almost dead. Why didn't she come and get him?! Where was she?? I hollered "Granmommy Florence, come and get him! He's suffered enough - don't make him suffer anymore." I felt so helpless that my demand was more of a plea.

Then, from somewhere inside of me, I heard "orange". I remembered reading something about orange but I suddenly knew the only way through the purple was through the orange. I said to my father "come on, we have to follow the orange." He came with me like a lost child would go with someone they trusted to take them home. The innocence I felt from him made me feel very protective and real.

I wasn't sure how to follow the orange, there were only specks here and there so I picked a speck and 'moved' toward it. As I did I saw more orange, so I moved toward that, and I kept doing this until I, we, were on an orange path. The path rose up out of the purple/black swirls and as we moved along the path we came into a vast horizon of soft, warm pastel yellow and green whips that curved all around us like a canopy. The purple/black was below and behind us but the yellow/green whips were above and around us. Like we were rising up into a huge dome. It was so vast and warm, safe, calm and lightly peaceful.

It seemed as if we were on a moving belt going toward a flat, swirling, circular door. Like an inverted funnel but it, the opening, was flat and was in the middle of this vast space we had entered. The circular door was a soft white light mixed with light gray shadows where the light overlapped from the swirling motion.

There was a figure off to the left side of this door. To me it looked transparent, the color of liquid coffee held up to the light. It was the shape of a tall, thin person in a long, hooded robe. It seemed more transparent in what would be the chest area and I could not see a face or any detailed features. I know my father saw his mother. I felt his joy, his sudden childish freedom. The freedom to express the abundant love and joy that only innocent children seem to have. I was overwhelmed with a love and understanding that words cannot describe. A love of being rather than having, an understanding of everything in nothing. A warmth that cleansed the very fibers of my soul.

I watched as my father moved in front of me (up to now he had been following me) and moved like a child running toward this figure. I was still going forward but at a much slower pace. As I came closer to the door I felt as if I was shedding all pain, all worry. I was home, at last I was at the place I had been looking for for so long. I had no reason to go back, nothing mattered now, I knew who I was and more importantly what I am and am to be.

Then, as my father reached the figure, a harsh, loud knock rang out, then another and another. I heard, what I thought was my father (I'm not so sure it was now) say "Lynn, go answer the door" I said "No. I'm not leaving". Again the voice said, much sterner this time, "Lynn! go and answer the door!" then, for some reason, I had the feeling that I was eavesdropping on a very private moment and I felt uncomfortable. I said "Ok. But I'm coming right back." Still seeing my father, the entire scene in my head, I got up out of the chair and opened the door of the hospital room. It was as if I was above myself looking through a funnel at the nurse in the hall. "I want to get his blood pressure… is it Ok?" she asked. The hospital staff had been real good about not disturbing him without our OK. I looked at her and tears started streaming down my face, "He's going now" I said. "I'm with him, he's just found his mother, he's going now!" The nurse starred at me for a moment then said "Are you alright? Is there someone I can call? Can you handle this?" "Are you kidding!!" I said "It's beautiful, I'm with him. Of course I can handle this." Then she said "I knew you were psychic. I knew you were." Then she started to tell me how her mother died and she wasn't there but she knew when it happened… I didn't want to be rude but I said "I have to go back... I want to be with him." She squeezed my arm, and said if I needed anything she would be right out side the door.

I closed the door, went back to the chair, my fathers breathing was so slow and calm. I sat back and closed my eyes… I was back on the orange path but I was further back from the door then when I left. My father and the figure were just entering the light. My father said "Bye honey, and thank you." As they entered the light, his breathing slowed; I knew the breathing would stop. I watched them move further into the light and heard the final breath of my father’s body. I just sat in the chair. I left the place we were, I was back here, and I waited for the silence. Hoping for another breath but knowing he was gone. After a few seconds, I looked at his body. He was definitely gone. I went to the door and told the nurse. She came in and confirmed that he was dead. She called the supervising nurse and she noted the time. The supervisor asked me if I was all right and I just looked at her and said "I went with him. I watched him… I showed him where to go!" She said "Do you know what a blessing that is?" and I couldn't speak.

I called my mother and told her that I took him. She said she was so grateful, she tried to help him the day before and couldn't. She would have someone come and get me. When my sister picked me up at the hospital, I tried to explain what had happened, but it was very hard to find any words, much less the right ones. Later she told me that I was "glowing" when she picked me up. The rest of the family had mixed reactions, they were actually angry at me.

It's hard to describe how I felt. I remember telling a minister, who wanted me to recount the experience, that to let go of someone that deeply was the ultimate test of love. You cannot let go on that level if you are concerned with what it means to you. Only if you want what is right for that soul. That's the love of being - not having, the force that connects all life to all life. I guess you could say selfless or fear-less love. I know now that "hell" is the fear that holds us. "HELL" is being stuck between the physical world and the next world. We need to have felt and understood the "love - of - being", that selfless, fear-less love, at some point in our existence to pass that wall. That's the message of love. Not the feeling most of us call love. There has to be nothing in it for us. It doesn't matter how we understood it or what we felt it for - just as long as we did.

A couple of hours after I got home from the hospital, I laid down, closed my eyes and was back at the purple/black wall. It's funny but it wasn't so intimidating this time. I looked behind it and found that it was a curtain. I slipped behind the curtain and went up the path and I saw my father much farther into the light. I wanted to go - but the curtain was suddenly in front of me and I was told "not yet." I'm still trying to understand how and why I was able to go with my father. From what I have read and tried to research, this is not a very common thing, though I'm not the first person to have an experience like this.

There are a couple of things that I am very sure of now and they are that we are much more than flesh, bones and blood. That our actions and even our thoughts here mean a great deal more than we can ever imagine. That "love" is much more and much more powerful than most of us has even an inkling about.

I also know that my father and any other soul (here or passed) who has known real love for another being is OK and will be OK through eternity. I now KNOW we can ALL go home.  64d/Dec. 11, 2003

148.    I am a Christian, I have always believed in God, and now... I have confirmation that something is waiting out there for me, and I will not be afraid to go there again when invited the next time.  70d/March 4, 2004

149.     It 'said', "In heaven (obvious god or Christian reference), what you need to understand is you do not need eyes to see." The rest I knew just from a "knowing” that came with its messages. The only thing I understand about the second message is it is something I am supposed to share, because so many people don't understand the concept of physical life and non-physical life. ... Once people understand this concept, as simple as it is, then they will have the ability to be able to understand the concepts of the afterlife better and in the way they need to be thought of.  71d/March 4, 2004

150.     All is so simple. I just knew all the answers: there was nothing other than love and service... that was it.  72d/March 4, 2004

151.    It felt like I had been "sucked" back into my body, and I mean literally sucked.  77d/April 30, 2004

152.    Recently I went to the home page of a website with computer graphics showing what it is like moving through the tunnel. I was fascinated for quite a while because it resembled so closely what I first experienced. A kind of re-experience!  79d/June 4, 2004

153.    There were also light beings or angels that surrounded me, and they were singing and reciting the most beautiful poetry. As a poet, I only wish I had a tape recorder. ... In this state, I am aware they told me about my future and my purpose in this life, but in my dense human state, I cannot recall what I was told.  83d/Aug. 20, 2004

154.    I walked up this tunnel toward the light. As I got closer, I ‘heard’ in my mind that my father had died, but that I would see him again in a long time (when I was about 76). I argued with the voice that my father and mother had divorced. I was again told that my father was dead but that I would see him again.  84d/Sept, 1, 2004

155.    I was moving so fast, I had lost my physical form and became a sphere where I could see all around me at once. It felt like a perfectly natural shape for me.  85d/Oct. 26, 2004

156.     I moved through the tunnel, and there was wonderful music all around - similar to Enya, Clannad, that sort of sound. But even more beautiful. I had a feeling of complete calm, safety and joy - a kind of joy which is not physical, but spiritual. Words can't describe it, anyway. I was pulled through the tunnel, and there was an area in the middle of it, where there was a kind of status quo - where forces pulled both ways - back, or further into the tunnel.  90d/Nov. 5, 2004

157.    I begged “Please help me... Oh god help me..." In that moment I felt something touch my third eye gently and I was knocked out. The next thing, I am lying above myself. Three native healers came in a light form. I swear this to you as I sit here now. They mixed herbs and rubbed them on my stomach. One chanted a beautiful deep harmonious song. They stayed and laid their hands on me. They disappeared and the touch again came on my third eye. I awoke in tears of joy and confusion. The pain was gone. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life and I will cherish it for as long as I live.  91d/Jan. 3, 2005

158.    I was not at all worried about the fact that I was dead. Knowing that I have died seemed totally irrelevant and unimportant. I was not even slightly curious or interested in the body or life I had left behind.  92d/Jan. 3, 2005

159.    A van had hit my car. I could hear people saying, "It's a lady in the car and she's dead." I could hear them, but I couldn't move. I began to drift and realize I was not inside of my body.  94d/Lift Your Head

160.    I felt as if I was two people; I think that's the best way to put it. It was as if one person was lying on the trolley and one was sitting up, but both trying to work together simultaneously. I could see my arms and legs, but it felt like I was inside a large boiler suit. I actually had to move my jaw with my hand to get my mouth to work. ... I had the ability to focus quite closely on where I needed to (or where there was danger). It was as if my mind was a television camera with the ability to focus in at close range. Essentially, I had the sensation of experiencing the events from various perspectives.  96d/Recall

161.    I was hovering at the ceiling, totally detached emotionally from my body. I watched him continue to rape and abuse my body without much emotion. I felt wonderful with no pain or negative emotions. It was as if every cell in my body was in ecstasy. I gave no thought to my beloved pets, family, friends, or plans. I was so excited to go home. I started rising above my house in the light and full of joy until suddenly I was slammed hard back into my body.  I thought to myself "NO! Why was I sent back when he was only going to kill me again?" Suddenly, he [attacker] took his hands off my neck, leaned back, and looked surprised. He put his hands up to his own neck and started tearing at both sides and front of it (like trying to tear invisible fingers away). ... I could tell that he couldn't breathe. I felt that some positive element, like an angel, had attacked him to save me.  97d/Defender

162.    I then looked down to the road and saw some people looking at my body. I thought, that's not me. I wouldn't cry over that thing. That is like a cigarette butt; it has served its purpose. It's a vehicle to get through this physical world. ... The next thing I remember is being in an ambulance.  101d/Change in Thought

163.    I knew I had no physical body anymore. It seemed like I had a different type of body, totally weightless, feeling no bodily sensations, no temperature, or anything like that. It was a different state of being. I had a body of what seemed to be made out of a shapeless energy and a bright indigo-bluish light. My new body had a more or less irregular circular form and it seemed to have what I would call arms and hands that would come out of this circular pattern when needed.  1e/Lucid

164a.    I could see a very tiny silver cord running from the pit of the stomach of the body to my stomach.  2e/Childing

164b.    I could move myself outside of the house by just thinking I wanted to be outside.  2e/Childing

164c.    I said, “I saw that many of my thoughts became actual physical things. How is this possible?” They said, “Thoughts ARE things. What you image with emotion is what we must give you in order for you to learn to become us. When you learn to generate a stable image, coupled with firm emotion, we are bound to bring it into being. But remember, there are issues to having this thing.” I said, “Such as?” They replied “Such as, do you have the means to support keeping the item now that you have it? Do you actually, truly want it now that you have it? For example, you cannot image intangible things. Can you image acceptance, or can you only feel it? Can you image love, or can you only experience it? You have much to learn Childing.  2e/Childing

165a.    [Plane crash.] I then find myself in a place that reminds me of Grand Central Station in New York City. It is kind of a gray place, not dark and not light. There’s a lot of commotion. People are everywhere. The acoustics were loud. I am watching between two groups of things happening. On my left side, I view people walking two by two in a very calm way. One is a person who crossed; the other is their guide. I sensed peace and support and they were okay. When I looked to my right, I saw people huddled together in circles. Their heads were all down and I sensed this foreboding feeling, sad and forlorn. I sensed confusion and dread. It wasn't comfortable. I realized that both groups were from the crash. Guides came for the ones on the left and those on the right were having difficulty. I don't know why.  3e/Communication

165b.    I stood on what felt like the edge of a lakeshore. It wasn't a bright place; it was dim and I could hear the sound of water, like a lakeshore. It was as if little laps of water were hitting the shoreline, peaceful and rhythmic. I was alone and it was very quiet except for the sound of what seemed like water, a river, or a lake. All of a sudden, I heard giggling and laughing. I looked up and across this lake, river, divide, or whatever and saw these three spheres on my far left. They looked like big cotton balls but ethereal, not dense like cotton. They were so excited to see me. I knew it. I sensed it. Everything said was all telepathic as if energy thoughts coming across. Communication was fast. I didn't have to wait or think about it. I just knew. Their laughter and excitement felt so contagious. I just wanted to go over there. It was so drawing. (For example, when you’re sitting in a restaurant and the table near you is having such a good time laughing hysterically, you want to find out what's so funny and laugh too.) I was ready to go over and find out what was so funny. They immediately stopped me and said, "No! We'll come to you." In the next immediate second, they were there on my side. They just came in me, all three. They melded into me and I realized how great communication is without words. Mouthing words is so slow. That is the last thing that happened. The next moment I am in the [crashed] plane and I hear a voice say, "Oh my God there is someone else in there."  3e/Communication

168a.    I saw myself lying on the operation bed ... . There were people in green pajamas walking around me in a very anxious way. I could see my face, but I didn’t know it was mine. I was observing the scene with no emotion, like it was nothing to do with me.  I was in a very pleasant feeling, something like the nothing and the all in the same package. ... I don’t know when or how I recognized that woman (on the bed) as myself and without emotion, like a picture of myself.  4e/Glove

168b.    I felt that I had to make a quick decision and run into my body if I wanted to stay alive. I ran mentally into my body, which felt like going inside a glove or landing into something of exactly my size. I opened my eyes and asked to see my baby.  4e/Glove

169.    When I first saw him I felt as though I knew him. I hugged him; the love I had for him was very strong. He felt closer to me than my own family. We started to communicate telepathically. I was telling him that I needed to go back and he replied that it wasn't possible. I saw in his facial expression that he did not want me to go. I told him again that I wanted to go back. He then showed me an image of a young handsome and wealthy couple that just had a baby boy and he told me that I could be born as that baby. The offer was very tempting, but I refused. I told him that I needed to go back to this life. He said if I go back in this time, life would not be the same and very difficult. I listened to his advice, but I willed myself back into this lifetime. While I was willing myself to come back into this lifetime. ... I then realized that this entity is the one source, the true God.  5e/Billions

170.    I was instantly surrounded by the most beautiful, pure light and colors that cannot even be imagined. The light was everywhere and went into me. I felt pure love, acceptance, and perfect happiness. The grass and colors beneath me were of the purest colors. There was also music like bells. ... I saw a room that had many levels (an infinite number of levels). On each level, there were many people doing activities that they loved. I recall just a couple of the levels, a beach and a ballroom.  6e/Precognition

171.    I would open my eyes in the hospital bed and a blue-eyed wolf was next to me. I don't remember getting out of my bed, but I would go down a hall with the wolf. We would get to a door and somehow the wolf opened the door. A blond woman, wearing white was on the other side. I never saw her face. She and the wolf led me down a long dark tunnel. She was on my right and the wolf on my left. I remember holding onto the wolf's fur. ... When it was my time to leave, I knew I would walk back to the door. The woman and the wolf were there and walked me back through the tunnel. Once through the other door, the wolf would take me back to my room.  7e/Guidewolf

172a.    I lost consciousness. It was such a relaxed feeling, just slipping away like that. My whole being seemed to change. The first thing I noticed was an amazing sense of relaxation and calm. I noticed that every single negative human emotion had simply gone, which left me feeling absolutely wonderful. Imagine the biggest high of your life, multiply it by a thousand, and you still won’t even be close to this wonderful, safe feeling.  9e/Home

172b.    Then I found myself in a blue tunnel. The colour was an electric blue, similar to the kind you get on certain L.E.D. Christmas lights now. It was a very vivid and wonderful colour. I floated gently, quite slowly along this tunnel and fully relaxed. I can even give you the dimensions of the tunnel. It was 2000 feet in diameter. Eventually, I could see in the distance a point that was a hive of tremendous activity. At this point, the blue tunnel turned into the white tunnel, a very clear line of transition. It was impossible to see into the white tunnel, as there was so much light pouring out from it. There was also a tremendous feeling of love emanating from this source, and a kind of instant knowledge. You just knew it. The blue tunnel could accommodate two way traffic, whereas the white tunnel was one way for souls leaving the earth plane. Once you crossed over into the white tunnel there was no going back. ... I could clearly see many, many souls on both sides of the transition point. There were quite a few souls, like myself, coming from the earth plane. All of these souls were being met by groups of souls who had come from the white tunnel. It was like each soul had its own entourage of souls from the other side to meet them. Some were being welcomed with open arms and carefully guided through the transition point and into the wonderful light of the white tunnel; some were being greeted with discussions; and some were being turned back toward the earth plane. When I was met by my own entourage of souls, I could clearly see that they were human, but in this existence were beings of light. They seemed to be the same colour as the electric blue in the first tunnel. I was greeted with a great love and urgency. I was held, and knowledge was imbued into me. I was told, this is not my time, but this was meant to happen.   9e/Home

173.    Suddenly my father, who had passed over 30 years previously, was standing at the left of my bed down near my feet. I remember saying, "Oh, hi dad," as if it was perfectly normal to see him! I must have been talking too much, although I cannot remember doing this, because he said to me in a very impatient voice, "Well come on, are you coming or not? You have to make up your mind.” I replied, "Ewe, I’d better not," and before I could say anything else he was gone without another word. ... The other thing I noticed was everything around my father was in total darkness. It was total black and I remember this vividly. I also remember at the time looking around my father for any sort of white light, but it was total blackness.  11e/Life After

174.    You can see everything at the same time; there is no field of vision.  12e/Where I Was

175a.    I was in a hospital for dying children. While there I often saw what I called "Takers," opaque people who took the hand of children who were about to die and lead them away.  15e/Non-existence

175b.    The next thing I was sitting cross-legged (supported mid air) in the middle of a great void. It wasn't dark. It wasn't light. It was NOTHING. I was in the middle of absolutely nothing. I can't express how empty it was. I felt no emotion. Not even calm. I seemed to be there an eternity, as if there was no such thing as time. I had been there for the whole of existence, in both directions. I knew there was something important I was supposed to be thinking about, but it was hard to care.  15e/Non-existence

176.    On arriving in a very beautiful place, I was met by my mother who had died two years earlier. She told me this was heaven and began to introduce me to family who had died and I had never known.  17e/Mother

177a.    My heart stopped beating. It was a chaotic moment. I didn't know what had happened. Out of this chaos came a deep state of tranquility; I experienced this incredibly intense and calm state of awareness. There was no drifting of consciousness as in the normal living state. It was an all-consuming state of awareness.  18e/History

178b.    I remember first becoming aware of how quiet everything had become, how incredibly quiet my reality had become.  18e/History

178c.    This light up in the tunnel turned into a lightning bolt that shot into my brain and down my spine into my heart, the most intense moment in my life. My heart exploded with energy, beginning to beat again.  18e/History

179.    As a child mother told me about the circumstances of my near-death delivery; it was as though she was telling me something I already knew very well from an actual experience. I could visualize the delivery room from above and see the nurse handling me. I still have a strong visual impression of those moments and I wonder now if I may have been undergoing a near-death experience. I do not recall feeling any specific emotions at the time of this experience, only astonishment later as I relived it when my mother related it to me. It was and still is all so real. I could actually see everything that she would not have known as she would have been under anesthesia.  19e/Special Delivery

180.    I knew I wasn't in my body, but it didn't feel like I was without a body.  21e/Bleachers

181.    As I waited, I remembered what I had forgotten, which was everything. I was astonished at the simplicity of why, what, who, where...all of it. I knew it all. I remember thinking that it is so weird that we don't remember any of it on the other side. It's so apparent, yet we cannot see it while living in the other form. At that very moment I likened it to an ant that could never perceive a human in its entirety, it's complexity, or it's completeness, yet we are right there to be seen if only the ant had the capacity. ... I was told by thought that I would not be allowed to stay. I got excited to return, and thought how much I wanted to remember the knowledge, so I could explain it to others, ease fears of death, and inspire goodness. I thought that maybe I could trick them; I would think of some words that perfectly described the knowledge in it's simplest form, and then remember the words. Then I'd associate the words and remember the knowledge. I came up with perfect words, all is everything, everything is one. I was so happy with my choice of words; I knew that I would remember.  23e/All One

182.    Later I was told that I was speaking in some strange language that no one understood. They said I spoke it well and coherently, but no one understood anything I was saying.  24e/Source

183a.    I reached up to feel my face that was tingling and warm. My finger went up inside my sinus. At that moment, I started to walk away from myself. My vision was clear. My person, my body was moving away from me. I reached out and tried to grab myself. My hand swept through me as if there was nothing there. I was about three feet behind myself when I watched my body falling to the street. For an instant, my vision was back from the perspective of my body. I saw the pavement in my face ... .  25e/360º Vision

183b.     I wondered what was this bluish white sesame seed in front of me. Up until that point every time I wondered anything the voice told me. Yet this time as I looked at the blue sesame seed, there was no voice. I watched as the seed approached me or I approached the seed. There was a low pitch rumble down the frequency range. Then as the seed got closer or I got closer to the seed, the low pitch started to rise up in tone. When the seed and I came together, light began to fill my eyes as if it was being poured into my head from a pitcher. The low pitch sound had become a high pitch ringing as the light started to become clear.  25e/360º Vision

184.    All of a sudden I was off the planet and floating way above the earth, although I could feel it behind me. I was looking into a star field--a massive, infinite entity that encompassed all of the galaxies, all of space, and some presence which is right in front of us all of the time that the earth sits in.  26e/Infinite Entity

185.    I heard my grandmother's voice telling me, "Honey you have to go back now, we aren't ready for you. Maha needs you." I didn't see her, only heard her; she died in 1981. ... And how my grandmother would know to call my daughter Maha is amazing. Maha is not a name she would have known.  29e/Pool

186.    The next thing I remember is that I was standing next to my hospital bed looking at myself. (There was a large chest of drawers or a locker and a chair next to the bed. The room was very small. It occurred to me later that I could not physically have stood in that spot).  31e/There's More

187a.    I was aware of four states of consciousness: awake, dreaming, hallucinating, and out of body in another realm.  34e/Oneness

187b.    I went to a place of knowledge, where I knew everything. It was here that I knew that there was no such thing as time or space. It was here that I realised that I had created all of the melodramas in my life and it made me laugh (I call that my cosmic giggle).  34e/Oneness

187c.    I went into a flow of oneness that I think is God, (I called that the isness); it is a state of bliss where I am all there is. It is formless. It is like waking from a nightmare and finding yourself safe at home. Life on earth is the dream and this oneness/bliss is the reality that you wake up into safe and sound.  34e/Oneness

188.    I couldn’t feel my body--don’t think I had one, but I was still me with crystal clear thinking.   36e/Someone

189.    I felt him/her stop me, but I didn’t see anyone. I just felt a strong presence. I will never forget the words spoken to me by neither a male or female voice that said, “Don’t be scared, you’re going to be okay." ... The voice…it seemed to know me.  36e/Someone

190a.    I was engulfed in a beautiful light. It was all around me and it was composed of unimaginable kindness. It was like being in the middle of the sun. I delighted the sun. It knew what I was like, faults and all, but it loved me completely. It was also horrified by what I had done; that is, I had gone there alone and unaided. It didn't know a human being could do that. Such a feat should have been impossibly dangerous. ... Then I became aware that there were thousands of people in the sun but they were not there yet; however, a place had been saved for them. I felt that I knew all there was to know, not specific events but I could see the significance of everything that happened and I knew what the consequences would be. I was able to step into and out of the sun and I saw on earth a verdant garden; no flowers were there, but birds sang and brought the flowers into being. The sun resided on earth in this garden. There were green people (I could see the foliage of the garden through their forms) waiting outside the gate to the garden. They began to come in when they saw me there. They seemed to know me and, although I was the youngest of them, they loved me the most.  39e/In the Sun

190b.    I stepped back down to earth with the utmost reluctance. Earth to me now seemed like hell because it is where injustice, chaos, and everything that seems unfair or arbitrary operates. ... I was back on the wretched earth.  39e/In the Sun

191.    From ages three to eight, I had an "imaginary" friend I named Mr. Cardine. He would take me to places outside my body and tell me what was going to happen to me and other family members. I could also see other beings, but I could not see Mr. Cardine. When I would be out of my body, I could see people having conversations and I could listen to their plans. It was very hard to understand why other people did not believe me when I would tell them what was going to happen. Mr. Cardine was very friendly and never frightened me. I thought everyone knew Mr. Cardine and I would talk about him to everyone. Soon I was the target of ridicule and bullying because nobody believed my stories or that I had an "imaginary" friend. My mother got frightened because I was telling her things that happened and were going to happen. Her concern for my behavior prompted her to go to a preacher in the Holiness denomination and he began to tell me that Mr. Cardine was not real. I would tell him things about his life and he told mother to take me to a doctor. The doctor told me to kill Mr. Cardine and my parents wanted me to tell them when he dies. One day while I was talking to some of the other beings, mother got angry and gave me a spanking and then dad did the same when he got home. Mr. Cardine was the main being in that realm of existence. He could make all the others leave. I could not hear his voice or see him; it was a presence I would feel and the communication was verbal on my part, but I am not sure how I understood him. I would see many other beings too. Some of them looked like melted piles of tar and I was very afraid of them. They were able to move through walls and I could tell that they had no boundaries, as I knew boundaries. I remember their presence mostly when my parents were arguing or drinking and arguing. Mr. Cardine could make the tar-like beings leave. The last time I was aware of Mr. Cardine was the day I had to tell my parents he had fallen off the roof, broke his leg and died. He told me to do this and said he would always be with me but I could not talk to him anymore because of the beatings my parents started giving me when they caught me talking to him.  40e/Mr. Cardine

192a.    As I walked with a heavenly person, his countenance shone forth with such brightness. I can't even begin to describe it. I knew this heavenly being was Jesus because I recognized him as a familiar friend. He didn't announce who he was because this wasn't necessary.  41e/Communication

192b.    I can remember that I could tell what the nurses were thinking about me by how they touched me. Through their touch I knew if they thought I was going to live or not. I knew if they thought they were caring for a basically dead person whose spirit wasn't there. I remember trying to scream out, "Look, I'm alive. I'm in here. I'm going to live." I relaxed and trusted a person much more if I knew that they knew they were caring for a living person.  41e/Communication

193.    I started to see this movie of my life. I somehow knew I was being judged or something and I remember thinking, "How bad can this be I'm only eight years old?" I was wrong. He [anonymous guide] was showing me things with a lovely smile. I knew I was in trouble. He showed me the time I scratched my neighbor's car with a key; I could feel how bad this man felt. He then told me, "It's the things that I do out of love that count."  42e/Guided

194.    At one point instead of losing consciousness, I was very present and very aware of being. I was in a different place, but very aware that my body was in the hospital room giving birth. (I could even hear, but not see, the nurses and sounds of the delivery room.) All this seemed to be going on through a veil or just on the other side of where I was being. Then I became more aware of my surroundings and lost connection with the physical plane.  43e/Lost Connection

195a.    One thing I do remember is that he said I should persevere till the end. He said that was how I can attain paradise again.  50e/Living Water

195b.    A little further off from where I stood was a place where some people sat around a being. I immediately recognized them as the apostles, Elijah and David of the Old Testament. I was amazed to see them. It was like you knew everyone for a long time and just forget who they are. In the middle sat someone that seemed to emit such great light. It was so bright and powerful that you really couldn't look right at it. I just knew it was Jesus.  50e/Living Water

195c.    I saw a stream of water that ran along the edge of the garden. When I came close, the water was crystal clear. I have never seen such amazing water before. My guardian angel explained that it was living water.  50e/Living Water

196.      I was suspended by very soft, white, thick, and silky ropes around my ankles and wrists. I had a black and gold velvet death mask on, and a black and gold robe, but I didn't have a body. ... Then I was in a room and kneeling down. I was young again and perfect. I had no clothes but that was fine. It wasn't wrong. Then there was very pure water being poured over me to wash away every care, disappointment, and things I had done or didn't do. I experienced such peace of mind and perfect love, unconditional love. I cannot describe it with mere words. Suddenly I saw myself again in the death mask and robe, still suspended and without any pain.  51e/Perfect Love

197a.    I was suddenly, in spirit only, floating stationary in a void of darkness. I could sense myself in the outline form of my body but my body wasn't there. I could see like there wasn't darkness just like a person can see when there is light in a room, but everything is black. ... No light was present. Yet, I could see clearly all around the black space just like being in a space that had light. I knew there were invisible boundaries that I could not go through.   53e/Floating

197b.    I called out, "Isn't anyone there?" I did this several times and started to get upset. No one answered. I knew I was the only one there. I thought I was going to be alone like this forever. I was feeling extreme emotional anxiety because no one would answer me and no one was there with me. I was just there floating stationary and calling out. I didn't like it. This bothered me a lot. Then suddenly ... I woke up.  53e/Floating

198.    When you have leave your body for a while you’re observing happenings/life with an “emotional distance.” Watch an anthill for a while, that comes close to what it’s like when your dead and you are watching “life” from afar. You are not “attached” to this world anymore. I have had almost two years of psychotherapy. I remember telling my doctor that I did not have emotions anymore. That I didn’t miss having them. It seemed ok. In the meantime “my emotions” have completely returned. I know why we have them: this is one way to “feel” life. We are human; therefore, we have emotions. If we didn’t have emotions, life wouldn’t be lived the “right” way. I remember seeing people from above at a grave yard somewhere. They were moving toward a grave with the casket. I remember not understanding why these people were “crying.” It didn’t make sense to me. I thought it strange. What a waste of energy, I thought. No feelings of loss or any regret of not being on earth anymore.  55e/Death Not Terrible

199.    I saw a hand reaching down to me. I could not see a face. I heard my mother say, "Grab the hand." I don’t know if I said it out loud or not but I knew it was the hand of Jesus.  58e/Hand

200a.     I knew that I was looking at the earth. It was quite beautiful and peaceful, but I felt no urge to go back there. In fact, I felt rather dispassionate about the whole image. It was nice to look at the earth but I had no emotional ties to it.  63e/Back Home

200b.    I saw a beautiful golden staircase backlit with the most spectacular warm, golden white light imaginable. Mere words can't explain how breathtakingly fantastic it was. Even though I wasn't close to the stairs, I could see intricate carvings in the gold. I wanted to get closer to the staircase and as soon as I formed the thought in my mind, I started to float over to it. I had the definite feeling of movement when I looked at the stairs yet they weren't moving. The closer I got to the staircase, the faster I went. I reached out with my arms to touch the stairs and my fingers started to tingle with anticipation. Just as I approached the bottom stair, I heard a booming male voice loudly yell, "You are not supposed to remember this!"  63e/Back Home

201.    I saw my great grandfathers, one from peacetime born in 1865, and the other from the civil war in a tattered gray uniform. I saw one who was a state senator. Then I saw a man riding a horse toward Mohawk Indians and toward British troops.  64e/Mission

202a.     All my senses were sharper. My vision was clearer. Colors were brighter. Hearing was clearer. Sensations were more alive. I realized that I had released a perceptual filter that had been standing between the experience of life and me, and ironically, it had been the fear of death. Now that I had released that fear, I was experiencing more of life, more of being alive, even if just for a short while longer.  65e/Glow

202b.    I put my attention on the place to which I was being drawn, aiming for it. I was headed there anyway, but aiming for it gave me more of a sense of being in the driver's seat, and that was a lot more comfortable for me. It was a bit like riding a roller coaster in the front car, and pretending that you're driving the thing along the tracks. It gives a totally different ride, I can assure you, than being swept out of control.  65e/Glow

203.    My world ceased to exist, except for my mind.  68e/Difficulty

204.    I've often wondered about the meaning of many things. I was allowed the answers although I wasn't allowed to bring this knowledge back with me. I retain the knowledge that it was shown to me. There is a reason for everything from the smallest drop of rain to every last grain of sand in the deserts. I was shown the reason for everything in the matter of a couple of seconds. I'm not surprised that I didn't retain the knowledge. To say that man simply cannot comprehend the greatest of God is more than an understatement. I feel privileged that he allowed me a glimpse into his greatness.  70e/Chance

205.    Then the next thing I knew I was in a kind of desert-like place and I could see a stream of people going toward a building. At that point I knew what had happened and went to the building. It kind of looked like a cross between an old 19th-century church and a barn. There were people there (none of whom I knew) and some small animals. No one would talk to me because they were occupied with whatever they were doing. I finally found a badger who would talk to me. I was there for a very long time but he told me that I would eventually go to where I needed to go. I went outside and it was real bright but I needed no adjustment for discomfort. There were large animals and several roadways. I went back inside and was met by an unfamiliar man who told me, "You don't belong here." I was sent away. I went to another place which was kind of a neutral place similar to this plane. I knew I was supposed to take a "class" or learn something. My experiential time was approximately a week although only a few hours had passed here. At this point I woke up from surgery. I had the mental state as though I knew I was going to die and was okay with it. At some point I slipped back into the experience and found myself in a "class" with several other beings. We were all given a "tool" each of which had different functions. Also, they were in groups of three except for mine which was one being and me. The class took experientially about four months. Half of it was actually at a place for learning how to use this tool and other related matter. The last half was going with my "lab partner out in the field" using our tool. I then went to his home and we built some sort of healing construct. His tool built the construct and mine did the healing aspect to it. Experiential time passage was approximately six months. equal to two or three days here.  73e/Learning

206.    I found myself in a tunnel of light with a diameter of roughly twenty feet. It was warm, comforting and created total calmness. I was content and without apprehension. Having read of this phenomenon during my medical training, I was quite aware of the circumstances.  74e/Natural Continuum

207.     I remember trying to talk to people and they were not responding to me. At the time I thought, why aren't they listening to me? I was kind of looking at people from above (but not too far above) as if floating. Time seemed to slow down. It was a very strange feeling as if I was caught in between worlds or realities, one that I will never ever forget.  75e/Between Worlds

208.    I had been examining my hands and arms, which were a translucent light blue.  77e/Quiet Clarity

209.    I remember learning that all spirituality is good. Not one belief system was better than the other.  79e/Time

210a.    All around me were beings of pulsing, colored light, and indescribable music/singing full of joy and praise. ... The beings were creating the music and were made of the music. I was made of music, light and joy.  89e/Self-Evident

210b.    I could see a cord connecting me to my body, hanging down from me and softly swaying. It looked like shimmering, softly glowing, grey silk. We were still connected.  89e/Self-Evident

210c.    It was an experience where everything was instantly self-evident. If I turned my awareness to anything, it was self-evident to me with no time delay.  89e/Self-Evident

211.    I was shown how illnesses start on an energetic level before they become physical. If I chose to go into life, the cancer would be gone from my energy, and my physical body would catch up very quickly. I then understood that when people have medical treatments for illnesses, it rids the illness only from their body but not from their energy so the illness returns. I realized if I went back, it would be with a very healthy energy. Then the physical body would catch up to the energetic conditions very quickly and permanently. I was given the understanding that this applies to anything, not only illnesses - physical conditions, psychological conditions, etc. I was shown that everything going on in our lives was dependant on this energy around us, created by us. Nothing was solid. We created our surroundings, our conditions, etc., depending on this energy. The clarity I received around how we get what we do was phenomenal! It's all about where we are energetically. I was made to understand this during the tests of my organ functions. The results were not back yet. If I chose life, the results would show that my organs were functioning normally. If I chose death, the results would show organ failure as the cause of death due to cancer. I was able to change the outcome of the tests by my choice. I made my choice.  95e/Illnesses